Hey there! Welcome back to Make More Love, where we dive into creating passionate, fulfilling relationships without endless talking or therapy. Today, we’re wrapping up our Avoiding Divorce series with a topic that can completely transform your relationship: rediscovering your shared purpose.
Are You Headed in the Same Direction?
Ever had that feeling of driving down the highway, music blasting, only to realize you have no idea where you're going? That’s what happens to many relationships over time. We start with clear visions of our future together, but somewhere along the journey, life’s demands—careers, kids, bills—steer us off course.
Here’s the thing: 31% of divorced couples cite "incompatibility" as the cause of their split. Add in the 73% blaming "lack of commitment" and 45% pointing to "unrealistic expectations," and you’ve got a clear message—losing alignment with your partner is a recipe for disaster.
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
The Power of Shared Purpose
Remember when you first fell in love? The late-night talks about your dreams, values, and future plans? That’s shared purpose. It’s what gives your relationship depth beyond daily routines and obligations.
But life happens. And when those deep conversations fade, couples start living parallel lives instead of building a shared future. So, how do we reconnect and rediscover that shared purpose?
Why Couples Lose Their Way
1. Diverging Goals and Priorities
Life changes us. What mattered to you at 25 might not hold the same weight at 40 or 50. That’s normal, but problems arise when we don’t communicate these shifts with our partner.
2. Lack of a Clear Shared Vision
Most couples plan for a wedding or maybe having kids, but beyond that? Crickets. Without a shared vision, it’s like heading out on a road trip without a destination or a map.
3. Game-Changing Decisions
Major life choices—like starting a business or moving cities—can shift your relationship’s trajectory, especially if one partner makes the decision without the other's input.
The Emotional Fallout
When couples lose alignment, the emotional impact is real:
- Loss of respect
- Loss of confidence in the relationship’s future
- Emotional withdrawal and distance
Sound familiar? You’re not alone. The good news is there’s a way forward.
Getting Back in Sync: 3 Powerful Principles
1. Switch Off Autopilot and Re-engage
Ask yourself: “What will our relationship look like in 10 years if nothing changes?” If the answer doesn’t excite you, it’s time for a course correction.
2. Create a Vision You Can Believe In
Paint a realistic picture of a future you’d want to stay in. This isn’t about convincing your partner—it’s about clarifying what you want for yourself first.
3. Co-create a Shared Vision
Now it’s time to collaborate. Sit down with your partner for open, honest conversations about the future. Alignment doesn’t mean agreeing on everything—it means finding the overlap between your individual visions and creating a future you’re both excited about.
The Road Ahead
Talking about the future can feel overwhelming, especially if you’re feeling disconnected. But here’s the truth: every step you take toward alignment is a step away from divorce and toward the relationship you’ve always wanted.
And remember—you don’t need your partner’s buy-in to start this process. Focus on what you can control, and you’ll be amazed at how much your relationship can improve.
Your Next Move
Ready to take action? Here’s what you can do right now:
- Book a free Relationship Reset Call with me. We’ll dive into your situation and create a plan to reconnect and strengthen your relationship.
- Share this blog with someone who needs it. You might just help them save their relationship.
- Leave a comment or review to let us know how this resonated with you. Your feedback helps us reach more couples looking to build a stronger connection.
Remember, what I want most in the world is for you to make more love in your life and with your wife. Let’s make it happen—together.
